A Map of Her Heart
by AnotherYourslf
Summary: This story is set in the springtime of 2018 while Sam Cain has taken time away to clear her mind and find herself. Sam struggles to reconcile her past with her present and discovers the road to her heart is filled with a winding road and detours. Both Drew and Jason lay claim on her heart, but will she make it to either one? I favor a Dream ending in the distant horizon.


A MAP OF HER HEART

CHAPTER 1

 _Author's Note: This story is set in the springtime of 2018 while Sam Cain has taken time away to clear her mind and find herself. Sam struggles to reconcile her past with her present and discovers the road to her heart is filled with a winding road and detours. Both Drew and Jason lay claim on her heart, but will she make it to either one? I favor a Dream ending in the distant horizon. I'm not exactly sure how or where I will take this, but for some reason my muse took me here tonight. Let me know what you think and I look forward to any feedback and suggestions any of you reading this might have. I do not own the characters in this story._

Sam had taken a month to herself with the kids far away from Port Charles and with each passing day she contemplated her life now and who she was today. She thought back to how her life had so drastically changed in the past 14 years since she first found her way into a town that was only intended to be a means to an end which eventually became a home.

Home she thought to herself, for so long she acquainted that with Jason because being with him was where she finally felt safe enough to let down her walls and take up roots. She had been a drifter for so long and she was okay with that and then being with Jason she learned to finally lean and depend on someone else, but she also learned that it could be snatched away.

The irony that what she feared during her battle with toxoplasmosis had become a reality in Jason's return. She remembered her conversation with Carly after she and Drew first made love and her stance on the mob "the world is a much scarier place when you realize you have people to love and lose" and maybe that is what she felt partially for Jason was grief.

Sure, she grieved as any widow would when Jason was shot on that pier and in fact she hated that pier her heart would fill with dread anytime she came near it. The place that once brought her serenity and peace was now tainted by the bloodshed and life that was taken from her, Jason and Danny most of all. The regret would surround her of the time her son missed with his father, but she lived for him and eventually found a different way of life.

When Jason left them, she thought her world had stopped moving and it took quite a while to emerge from the depth of despair and sorrow that filled her heart, but it was their son that pulled her from the dark abyss. She saw the life worth living through Danny's eyes and knew she had to keep going for him. When she found out about the leukemia she couldn't believe how cruel God could be to her or them. She asked every day while she watched him struggle with treatments in the hospital "hadn't they lost enough?"

Silas helped her through that hellish time and they grew close and at one point she thought there was love there and maybe it was, but nothing like what she shared with Jason. She couldn't believe the guilt that wrecked her in taking off her wedding ring as though a part of her was being removed the most near and dear second to her son. Then that fell apart when Nina appeared in Port Charles. She hated the existence of that woman because she symbolized yet another thing that would be torn away, but in a way, she knew it was never meant to last. She owed a great deal to Silas and a part of her would be forever thankful for the time they shared and all the care he gave her little boy.

Then came the unexpected development of friendship that blossomed into love with Patrick. Their love filled an empty place they each had in their hearts for the people that were gone. She found happiness with Patrick in the life that was so different from what she shared with Jason and maybe that was what she thought she needed at the time, but a part of her still was missing. She pushed herself to try and let go of her love for Jason with Patrick and as fate may have it Jake…Drew was the one that was with her when she thought that door closed and she eventually accepted Patrick's proposal.

From the moment Danny ran into his room at General Hospital and locked onto him their lives would never be the same. With no name and a severely bandaged face something about this man tugged at her heart and she saw immediately how much Danny was drawn to him as well. She would have never imagined looking back that chasing Danny through that hallway would lead her the man that eventually captured her heart and fathered their beautiful daughter.

Two brothers as different as night and day and yet with each one she lived a different life and love filled with passion and struggles. The path that led her to each one was paved with many challenges and heartache. Her heart was in war with her mind she felt a sense of loyalty to each for the lives they shared and she was lost in which direction to go now.

With Jason he was stuck in 2012 and although she loved him deeply she was not the same person he left that fateful night. Her life had been altered in so many ways and it felt as though they both were clinging to those memories.

Memories that was the war Drew battled as did Sam in a way as he was burdened with his head swirling with Jason's life up until 2012 with nothing of his own with the exception of the last 3 years. He could argue that even that time was clouded and mingled with Jason as he thought those were his and reconnected with Sam so he thought because of it. In truth, Sam felt and saw the difference instantly and it wasn't a bad thing it was just…unfamiliar. Drew brought something into her life that she never realized was missing until he left that ring on the desk his loyalty and true commitment to her and their family.

God the words repeated in her head that day while he was recovering in that hospital bed that he wanted to be HER man. He wanted their couch, noodle Buddha and their kids crawling all over them and that was the life she vowed to make with him so why now was this in jeopardy?

How did she let things get so mixed up? She felt like she was drowning and just as she would touch the surface she would be yanked back down. Her past was pulling her back and his past was reaching out.

To be continue?


End file.
